What to Do When Someone Starts Crying
Crying can catch you off guard. It’s one of those moments where you wish you had a manual to follow. The good news is that you don’t need to be a therapist to handle it well, just someone who knows the right move to make when emotions run high. Let’s talk about everything you can do to comfort someone when they start crying.
Stay Calm
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When someone starts crying, keeping your composure can make a huge difference. Your calm demeanor helps the person feel like things are under control, which can provide immediate comfort and help them regulate their emotions.
Give Them Space
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Sometimes, the best thing you can do is give them a little breathing room. Not everyone wants to be surrounded by people when they’re crying, so offering space allows them to process things at their own pace.
Offer a Tissue
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A tissue might seem small, but it’s a surprisingly thoughtful gesture when someone’s in tears. This simple act shows you’re paying attention to their needs. It’s practical and caring and subtly lets them know you’re there to help with the mess that comes with crying—literally and emotionally.
Ask if They Want a Hug
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A hug can work wonders, but only if it’s wanted! Asking if they wish to be hugged gives them the freedom to decide what kind of support they need. It’s a simple question that shows you’re ready to offer comfort, but you’re not assuming anything.
Encourage Deep Breathing
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Crying often causes shallow, rapid breathing, which can make a person feel dizzy or more anxious. Encouraging them to slow down and take deep breaths helps reset their emotional state. Deep breathing reduces stress, calms the nervous system, and promotes relaxation, all of which help them regain composure faster.
Listen Without Interrupting
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Crying can result from intense emotions that need to be expressed. Giving them the space to talk without interruption lets them release those feelings fully. It’s more about emotional release than fixing anything, which is what they likely need at the moment.
Stay Present
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By staying present, you show you’re available to support them, even if you don’t have the perfect words. Being physically there, without distractions, makes the person feel anchored and secure. Sometimes, just having someone beside them is enough to help them feel supported.
Avoid Judgment
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Emotional vulnerability should never be met with criticism. Everyone processes feelings differently, and crying is a natural release of stress and emotion. By avoiding judgment, you create a safe space for them to be themselves without fear of feeling weak or misunderstood.
Offer Comforting Words
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Phrases like “I’m here for you” or “You’re not alone” are powerful because they remind the person that their emotions are valid and that you’re a safe place to lean on. It doesn’t even matter if you don’t have all the answers.
Make Them Laugh
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When used appropriately, humor diffuses tension and helps someone snap out of a heavy moment. Laughter releases endorphins and makes people feel better and lighter. A gentle joke can break the ice and provide some emotional relief if the person is receptive. However, be careful not to force it and be mindful of the sensitivity of the situation.
Suggest a Walk
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Suggesting a stroll outdoors gives both of you a change of scenery and allows the person to clear their head without feeling trapped in the situation. The fresh air and movement also help reduce stress, calm the nerves, and even spark conversation if they’re ready to talk.
Offer a Warm Drink
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There’s something about a warm drink that just makes everything feel better. Handing someone a mug is like saying, “I got you.” Plus, sipping slowly also helps them reset their breathing and slow the emotional rollercoaster.
Avoid Saying “Don’t Cry”
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Telling someone “Don’t cry” is like telling a storm to stop raining—it’s just not helpful. Emotions need to flow, and crying is part of that process! Instead of shutting it down, let them cry it out. After all, it’s the tears that often bring the best healing, so let them have their moment.
Ask if They Want to Talk About It
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A simple “Do you want to talk about it?” can open the door for them to share what’s going on. And if they’re not ready to talk, no worries—just knowing they can is enough. You’re giving them the power to choose their emotional path.
Follow Up Later
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Don’t just forget about them after the tears have stopped. A quick follow-up later—whether it’s a text or a check in the next day—lets them know you’re still thinking of them. It’s a nudge to show you’ve got their back.