The Sweet Nightly Habit Experts Say Couples Should Try
Couples often look for small, meaningful ways to unwind together at the end of the day, and recent research points to one simple behavior that may offer real relational benefits: brief physical closeness before falling asleep. While this habit is not designed to improve sleep quality itself, it does appear to help partners feel calmer and more emotionally connected during the moments leading into sleep.
What Research Says About Bedtime Closeness
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A study involving more than one hundred couples who shared a bed examined how physical proximity at the beginning of the night relates to stress and emotional security. The analysis focused on how close partners were when preparing to fall asleep, including whether they cuddled, spooned, or simply rested near each other.
Couples who began the night in closer physical contact generally reported lower stress levels and a stronger sense of emotional safety in their relationship. These benefits were especially noticeable for individuals who typically experience more insecurity in intimate relationships, suggesting that physical proximity may help ease nighttime tension for some people.
It is important to note that the study did not find evidence that cuddling improves sleep quality. The benefit lies in emotional connection and stress reduction, not in altering sleep architecture or making someone sleep more soundly.
Why Touch Affects Stress and Connection
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Experts explain that physical touch can activate biological processes linked to calmness and bonding. Touch—such as cuddling, hugging, or resting against a partner—can stimulate the release of oxytocin, which is associated with feelings of comfort, relaxation, and emotional closeness. These physiological responses help counteract stress hormones and may create a smoother transition from wakefulness to rest.
A Ritual That Supports Emotional Well-Being
Routine behaviors before bed often influence how easily the mind settles. A brief period of closeness can serve as a cue that the day is ending and that it is time to shift into a more restful mental state.
Historically, nighttime has always been a vulnerable period, and sharing space with another person often provided a sense of safety. Even though modern life looks very different, the emotional comfort derived from closeness remains relevant.
In contrast, many couples now end their nights in silence, focused on phones or tablets. Experts note that this shift toward solitary pre-sleep activities can unintentionally reduce opportunities for connection. Incorporating even a small physical ritual may counterbalance that trend.
Comfort Still Matters
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Cuddling is not comfortable for everyone, especially for long stretches. Some people may feel too warm, constrained, or disrupted by a partner’s movement. Because of this, many couples naturally cuddle only at the beginning of the night and then shift into positions that allow each person to sleep comfortably.
Physiological and sensory preferences vary widely, which means the ideal amount of closeness differs from couple to couple. For some, a few minutes of contact may be all that is needed to feel grounded. For others, hand-holding or resting near one another may create a similar calming effect without the heat or pressure of a full embrace.
Experts emphasize that there is no universally recommended position or duration. The most common choice is spooning, but any form of comfortable physical contact can support the emotional benefits identified in the research. The key is simply to choose a form of closeness that feels natural and sustainable for both partners.