Love is a remarkable word. It’s the most powerful feeling a living being can feel. It’s also an action. Feeling love is easy, but choosing to act with love takes strength. It’s also what gives the words, “I love you,” meaning. Without action to back it, the phrase doesn’t mean much at all.
The pic here shows Lily in 2020. She spent two hours refusing to do a homework assignment that should have taken 10 minutes. We were both miserable, and I was mad. When I saw her sitting on the stairs like this, I remembered her school had shut down, she hadn’t seen another kid in weeks, and her entire world had changed. She didn’t need punishment; she needed a hug.
When you interact with your child, make sure your actions match your words. Enforce consequences to teach them and help them, not to hurt them. Make sure that when you hug them, your mind isn’t somewhere else. Hug them like you’ve been waiting to see them all day. When you’re a single mom, there’s no other person there to be the loving one when you’re having a bad day.
It’s hard when you’re exhausted, but try to show your love through patience, kindness and affection as much as you possibly can. On the most frustrating days, those hugs might help you just as much as them. If you’re really struggling, refer back to No. 2, and take help when you can. The more love and support you have, the better — and if you don’t have enough support in person, you have the support of about a million single moms on the internet, me included.