More Americans Than Ever Are Choosing to Be Child-Free and Here’s Why
There was a time when skipping parenthood meant something had gone wrong, most likely medically. Now, it might just mean someone has made up their mind. Over the last two decades, the number of Americans who say they never want kids has doubled (from 14% of U.S. non-parents under 50 in 2002 to 29% in 2023), and it’s not just because of money or climate panic.
It appears that being “childfree by choice” is an increasingly valid decision. New research from Michigan State University confirms what social media, sitcoms, and holiday dinner conversations have been hinting at for years. The data shows that those who still hoped to have kids dropped from 79% to 59%.
This has been measured in nationwide surveys, including over 80,000 adults across multiple waves of the National Survey of Family Growth. Unlike earlier studies that focused mainly on women’s biological fertility, this research, conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), factored in men, women, and non-biological parenting plans.
What’s Behind This Shift?
Image via Unsplash/Katie Wallace
There’s no singular reason people say “no thanks” to parenthood, but a growing number of them agree it simply doesn’t appeal to them. The 2023 Pew Research Center survey found that more than half of Americans who don’t expect to have kids listed the top reason as “I just don’t want to.” And that line isn’t just coming from the younger crowd. For people over 50 without kids, a third say they never wanted them either.
That shift in thinking comes as no surprise to people like Callie Freitag, a researcher in Wisconsin who says she and her partner never felt pulled toward raising children. They’re not anti-kids, just more interested in pouring time and energy into careers, friendships, and personal goals.
The Economics Are Real, But Not the Whole Story
Yes, kids are expensive. That part hasn’t changed. But fewer Americans than you might expect today cite affordability as their main reason for skipping parenthood. Pew found that only 36% of adults under 50 said cost was the reason. For those over 50, it was only 12%.
Even so, the numbers are eye-watering. The current cost of raising a child in the U.S. is over $330,000 from birth to age 18. Daycare and preschool costs alone have jumped more than 260% since the early 1990s, according to a 2019 report from the Economic Policy Institute. And good luck finding support from federal policy.
The U.S. is one of the only wealthy countries with no mandated paid parental leave, and fewer than 25% of workers have access to it.
Parenting Pressure Is Getting Heavier
Image via Unsplash/Nathan Dumlao
Modern parenting is a high-stakes game full of expectations that didn’t exist in the past. New demands include gentle parenting, STEM camps, and social media-safe birthday parties. There’s a sense that raising a child is a full-time strategy plan for adult success.
That kind of pressure can lead young adults to second-guess having kids. For some people, the hesitation isn’t about fear but instinct. Brianna, a 29-year-old woman in Connecticut, says she knew since her teens that she didn’t want kids. After years of being denied sterilization by doctors, she finally got the green light. She said the experience of getting a dog pushed her forward. The stress of caring for a pet convinced her she didn’t want to feel responsible for a human child’s entire emotional and physical well-being.
What the Numbers Don’t Tell You
There’s much debate about whether low birth rates spell doom for the economy, culture, or planet. Countries like South Korea and Taiwan have tried to boost fertility numbers with financial incentives, but with limited results. Even nations with strong family support systems, like Norway, have seen their birth rates drop.
Some experts say this is the natural outcome of better education, longer life expectancies, and a society where people have more control over their futures. Advances in contraception and reproductive technology have made it easier than ever to plan or avoid pregnancy. That alone has shifted what adulthood looks like for millions of Americans.