If an elderly man breaking and entering wasn’t weird enough, someone had to go ahead and invent the elf on the shelf. As the story goes, the little stuffed elf toy moves around the house each night and reports their findings back to Santa.
It’s creepy — but also genius. Elf surveillance is the best parenting hack of the holidays, and these hilarious parents came up with some truly next-level elf on the shelf ideas.
Some Elf on the Shelf Ideas Are More Naughty Than Nice
How rude. This elf even captioned one of the printouts with, “This is my bum. Hahaha.”
Ya know, just in case it wasn’t abundantly clear already. (It was.)
We’re Telling Santa
Some parents really do have all the fun.
We aspire to be like them.
And Look at These Tricksters Giving Kids Bad Ideas
We can only hope our kids won’t follow in the footsteps of this elf on the shelf.
Some Elf on the Shelf Ideas Are a Little Dark
If you ever considered having a smoothie on Christmas morning, maybe don’t.
Very Dark, Even
If this is how potato chips are made, we don’t even want to know how tater tots come to be.
Others Stop at Mildly Gross
We’ll never look at diced carrots the same way again.
The Elf on the Shelf Is Supposed to Be a Good Example
But it’s way more fun when they’re not.
We can’t think of a better excuse to be late for school than, “The elf on the shelf replaced my shoe laces with licorice.”
You’d Think Elves Would Have More Discerning Tastes
Cookies, dog bones. Same thing.
Can We Play?
The winner takes home all the stockings and a bottle of peppermint schnapps.
Who said elf on the shelf ideas are just for kids?
This Elf on the Shelf Needs to Step Up Their Game
You’re magic.
Act like it before the kids start getting suspicious.
This Elf on the Shelf Idea Is Brilliant
As long as no one decides to bake banana bread without checking the oven first.
The Biggest, Nastiest Bowl of Cereal Ever
This seems like common sense, but if you’re going to try this elf on the shelf idea out, tape plastic wrap to the bowl before adding the cereal, unless your elf also happens to be a plumber.
Deck the Halls With Boughs of Boxer Briefs
That stinky elf, up to their shenanigans again.
Hopefully, they selected clean undies for this Christmas wisecrack.
If You Really Want to Get Creative, Bring in the Grinch
Or any other toys you have on hand.
Maybe the elf is up for a candlelight dinner with Barbie on his night off.
Lastly, an Elf on the Shelf Idea That Only Buddy the Elf Can Replicate
Just kidding. It’s not that hard! If someone crams cookies into the VCR, however, you’re on your own.
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