Wickedly Funny Wednesday Addams Quotes

Wednesday Addam's most brilliant lines are for those who appreciate dark humor.

Who has tons of attitude, the best comeback lines, a vocabulary to kill and a level of confidence most of us only dream of attaining? Wednesday Addams. She’s 13, but her quick wit, dark humor and signature style are hard not to love.

Has she tried to murder her brother? Yes. Multiple times. Do we still love her? Absolutely. Her all-black ensemble is a total vibe. Most girls grew up wanting to be Disney princesses. The rest of us wanted to be Wednesday from the Addams family. These Wednesday Addams quotes show why.

Whoever Wrote This Line Deserves an Award

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Girl Scout: I’ll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies.

Wednesday Addams: Are they made from real Girl Scouts?

If You Want Sympathy, Wednesday Is Not the Girl to Turn To

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Pugsley Addams: Are they dead?

Wednesday Addams: Does it matter?

As a Parent, I Think I’d Be More Worried About Boys

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Morticia Addams: Wednesday’s at that very special age when a girl has only one thing on her mind.

Ellen: Boys?

Wednesday Addams: Homicide.

PSA: When Someone Calls You Weird, Take It as a Compliment

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Joel: I’ll never forget you.

Wednesday Addams: You won’t?

Joel: You’re too weird.

Seeking a Nanny. Must Have a Clean Driving Record and Be Willing to Prevent the Children From Committing Murder

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Morticia Addams: Children, this is Miss Jellinsky, our new nanny. What do we say?

Wednesday Addams: Be afraid. Be very afraid.

We Would Too

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Joel: But what if you met the right man, who worshipped and adored you? Who’d do anything for you? Who’d be your devoted slave? Then what would you do?

Wednesday Addams: I’d pity him!

Wednesday’s Rewrite Might Be the Best Improv We’ve Ever Seen

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Amanda: Gary, she’s changing the words.

Wednesday Addams: And for all these reasons I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground.

How Else Would One Teach Math?

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“Pugsley, the baby weighs ten pounds, the cannonball weighs twenty pounds. Which will hit the stone wall first?”

Like a Good Neighbor, Stay Over There

Wednesday Addams / Facebook

“We don’t hug.”

But … Why Is He So Calm?

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Wednesday Addams: It has to warm up.

Pugsley Addams: Why?

Wednesday Addams: So it can kill you.

Same, Wednesday. Same.

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“It is getting dark in this little heart of mine.”

That’s a Pity. The Bermuda Triangle Seems Like a Place Wednesday Would Adore

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“Nobody gets out of the Bermuda Triangle, not even for a vacation. Everyone knows that.”

For Being 13, Wednesday Addams Has a Way With Words

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“How all occasions do inform against me and spur my dull revenge. O, from this time forth, my thoughts are bloody or nothing worth it. If I must strike you dead, I will.”