Every year, people swear off alcohol in January in response to the weeks of partying over the holidays.
The idea of resetting your health and starting fresh in the new year is great, but it’s easier said than done. Whether you’re celebrating dry January or not, these hilarious memes are for you.
But, Why?
Respect, but also, can you not? How are we supposed to enjoy wine down Friday alone? That’s just sad.
Dry January Does Have That Effect
You may not have much fun on Friday night, but at least you won’t have a hangover on Saturday morning. That counts for something, right?
Being the Designated Driver Is Even Less Fun Than Usual
Being around drunk people is a lot more fun when you, too, are buzzed.
It’s Like Harry Potter on the Train to Hogwarts
In the words of Harry Potter, “We’ll take the lot.” Cheers.
When You Have Resolve, but the Breakable Kind
We aren’t drinking tonight. Absolutely not. Unless our friends are buying.
Who Knows? Maybe You Did
At least during dry January, you don’t have to worry about making questionable life decisions. Oh, wait. You don’t need alcohol for that.
It Doesn’t Have Brain Cells, so No
Beer doesn’t miss you during dry January. What was that you said about swearing off one-sided relationships?
They Were So Young
Gone too early. Let’s make a toast in dry January’s honor.
This Feels Like Missing the Point
We could be wrong, but isn’t the point of dry January to get back into healthier habits? Ending it in a three-day bender seems counterintuitive.
#Healthtip
If losing weight is one of your New Year’s resolutions, forget fruit and pop the bubbly. That’s totally how it works.
Dry January Hits Different When You’re the Only One Not Participating
Drinking alone just isn’t as fun.
Knew We Could Find a Loophole Somewhere
Is this not what they meant? We thought martinis and old fashioneds counted as dry.
You Want To Be a Better Person. We Get It.
Really, we do. Taking better care of yourself is admirable. If you’re going to talk for more than five minutes about why you’re swearing off wine, however, you owe us a glass. Or a nice plate of appetizers, at least.
The Rewards Are Great, but at What Cost?
Not having a headache is nice, but is it as nice as happy hour after work on Friday? Debatable.
If Dry January Teaches Us Anything, It’s to Appreciate Wine
It’s like how you don’t appreciate being able to breathe until you have a bad cold. Show the wine you’re grateful. It deserves the positive feedback.
Self-Awareness Is Fun
Not to brag or anything, but we can make bad choices without any alcohol to help.
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