Divorce Rates Tend to Rise When Women Earn More, Studies Suggest
When a woman earns more than her husband, it can change how both partners see the relationship, and not always for the better. Recent studies show that couples in which wives out-earn their husbands face a higher risk of divorce. While society likes to believe we’ve moved past old gender norms, it turns out that income inequality inside a marriage still causes tension.
When Success Feels Like a Problem
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Im Dhatt, a recruitment specialist, watched her relationship crumble after a few career wins. Her salary tripled, but instead of celebrating, her partner became distant. He still insisted they split everything 50-50, even vacations, and that slowly chipped away at their connection. She realized that his self-worth was tied to his earnings, and once she started making more money than he did, resentment took over.
That story echoes what many women say happens when they earn more than their partners. A University of Chicago study found that couples are 6% less likely to say they’re “very happy” once the woman earns more. Another report from the Institute for Family Studies revealed that marriages are most stable when the husband earns about $38,000 more than his wife. The wider the traditional wage gap, the lower the chance of divorce.
The Emotional Cost of Breaking Traditions
Therapists like Dené Logan explain that many men grow up learning their worth comes from providing and protecting. When a woman becomes the main earner, it can generate feelings of failure, even when she doesn’t see it that way. Muriel Wilkins, a leadership coach, says it’s a clash between progress and old expectations. Paychecks may have changed faster than beliefs, and that mismatch can be explosive.
A Pew Research study from 2023 found that women still do more housework and caregiving, even when they’re the breadwinners. Not only are they earning more, but they’re also taking on more of the unpaid labor. That imbalance breeds frustration. But there are exceptions, like Brian Tan and his wife in New York, who treat their incomes as a shared pool and view success as a team effort.
Growing Apart Later in Life
The rate of “gray divorce,” meaning breakups among people over 50, has doubled since 1990 and tripled for those over 65. Older women usually take the harder hit financially. Their household income drops anywhere from 23% to 40% in the year after a divorce. Men, on the other hand, often recover faster or even see a slight increase.
Financial planner Kamila Elliott notes that many women in this age group didn’t spend much of their lives in the workforce, so when a marriage ends, there’s little savings or retirement security to fall back on. Divorced women can collect Social Security based on their ex’s earnings, but that benefit is capped at 50% of his amount. It’s not much help when living costs keep climbing.
Inequality Hits Harder for Some
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University of Michigan sociologist Pamela Smock found that the financial fallout from divorce isn’t just about gender. Race and ethnicity make a big difference. Her research showed that Black and Hispanic women face the steepest income drops after divorce, often falling into what she calls “double jeopardy.” Women in every group lose around half of their family income, but Black women are most likely to face long-term poverty, even when they increase their work hours.
Smock’s team found that full-time employment among divorced women rose after separation, from 61% to 72% for White women and 67% to 72% for Black women. However, those efforts rarely closed the gap. Men still came out ahead financially, with post-divorce poverty rates at 9% for White men and 15% for Black men, compared to 23% and 35% for their female counterparts.
Redefining What Success Means
Experts say change will take time. As younger generations question traditional gender roles, couples are starting to have more honest conversations about money and success. The healthiest relationships seem to be the ones that don’t measure worth in dollars, but in teamwork and respect. Maybe the real goal isn’t finding out who earns more, but figuring out how to win together.