Charlize Theron Roasts Modern Dating and It’s Painfully Accurate
Online dating is a mess. But when Charlize Theron starts roasting it, she takes the mess and turns it into pure comedy gold. During a chat with Andy Cohen on Watch What Happens Live, the Oscar-winning actress gave us a hilarious, no-holds-barred take on her brief stint with Raya, the exclusive dating app where, let’s be honest, celebrities go to try (and often fail) to find love.
A Friend, A Sign-Up, And Zero Interest
It all started when a friend signed Charlize up for Raya. “I don’t do anything with it,” she said, admitting that she’s hardly active on the app. Still, she had to give it a shot. After all, it’s marketed as an elite space for creatives and famous folks to connect. So, what did she find? A whole lot of “Burning Man pictures” and “CEOs of nothing.”
Yes, you read that right. Theron described one of her biggest frustrations with online dating: the endless photos of men at Burning Man, often posing in desert dust, flashing a smile that’s somehow both too cool and too cryptic. What’s with this widespread fixation on a festival where attendees go to shed their regular lives for a week of hedonism and self-expression? Well, according to Charlize, it’s all part of a larger trend she can’t stand—overinflated profiles that don’t line up with reality.
The “CEO of Nothing” Phenomenon
Let’s talk about “CEO of nothing” for a second. Charlize was calling out a real issue with how men market themselves online. That slick job title often amounts to little more than a clever, empty phrase meant to sound impressive. “I’m the CEO of… something, I guess,” Theron said. This isn’t a direct attack on entrepreneurs, but it’s a criticism of the vague, self-aggrandizing titles that flood dating apps. We all know the types—the self-described “innovators” who are probably just browsing Reddit for ideas on how to make their next big “project” sound like a life-changing business.
The Burning Man Tactic
Image via Unsplash/Adam Hornyak
But it doesn’t stop there. Theron’s biting commentary continues with her riff on “Burning Man pictures,” those ubiquitous festival shots that seem to make every dating profile look exactly the same. No offense to the free-spirited souls who genuinely embrace the festival’s ethos, but when every guy on the app seems to have a picture from the desert, it becomes… well, a bit predictable. “They’re all like, into fitness,” Charlize quipped. You can almost hear the eye roll.
The App Experience In A Nutshell
So, after signing up and going on two dates, Charlize made one thing clear: online dating was not her thing. “Then you meet with them, and they’re not,” she bluntly stated. After all, it’s one thing to present yourself as a Burning Man philosopher or a CEO of some mystery venture; it’s another thing entirely to show up in person and, well, not be that person.
More Than Just Funny Comments
Theron’s thoughts reflect a larger truth about modern dating: it’s increasingly hard to connect with someone when their online persona feels like a carefully crafted, yet hollow, marketing campaign. And for someone like Charlize, who’s used to being in the public eye, meeting a potential match who doesn’t live up to their profile is a little bit jarring, especially when it’s coupled with the dissonance of someone else trying to be something they’re not.
Celebrities, Non-Celebrities, And The Same Struggles
As much as we love to imagine that dating for someone like Charlize is a world away from our own experiences, her struggles are surprisingly relatable. Online dating—regardless of who you are—can feel like a minefield of disappointments with weird photos, and fake aspirations. When even A-listers are getting fed up with the apps, it’s hard to ignore the fact that something needs to change.
Charlize’s Dating Advice
So, what’s the takeaway from Charlize’s brutally honest take on dating apps? For starters, be real. If you’re a fitness enthusiast, great—but don’t lean on that as your entire personality. If you’re working on a side hustle, be upfront about it, and don’t make it sound like you’re running a global empire if you’re still figuring things out.
Theron also reminds us that it’s okay to take a step back and avoid the pressure of online dating altogether. After all, she’s managed to balance an acting career, motherhood, and some serious philanthropic work without needing an app to find a partner.