11 Tips To Be More Confident and Assertive
Confidence and assertiveness are all about owning your space without stepping on others. It’s a vibe: self-assured, grounded, and unshakable. But being bold without being overbearing takes practice. Here are a few real-world ways to find your voice and keep your balance.
Start with What You Know About Yourself
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Confidence comes easier when you’re not faking it. So, before anything else, get clear on what you’re good at, what you value, and what you bring into the room. When you’re sure of that, you don’t need to prove anything—you just show up, and people feel it.
Say What You Mean—Without the Fluff
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You don’t need to soften every sentence with “I’m just thinking maybe…” If you’ve got a suggestion or opinion, own it. Something like “Here’s what I’m thinking” is simple and solid. No need to dance around your point.
Let Your Body Match Your Words
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People pick up on your energy before you even say a word. Slouched shoulders and avoiding eye contact can send the wrong message—even if your words are on point. Stand tall, stay relaxed, and check in with how you’re showing up.
Boundaries Aren’t Walls—They’re Just Clarity
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You can say no without being harsh. In fact, it’s a good way to protect your time without explaining your whole life story. Something like “That’s not going to work for me” is enough. And you don’t need to apologize for it.
Pay Attention
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Here’s the thing—confident people listen. Not to plan their comeback but to understand. When you’re really tuned in, you don’t have to fight for attention later. People remember when they feel heard. And they’re more likely to hear you out, too.
Give Yourself a Beat
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Ever notice how someone who’s calm doesn’t rush their words? That’s not an accident. A pause—before you answer, ask, or respond—can make you seem more grounded. It gives you space to think and keeps things from feeling reactive.
Drop the Reflex “Sorry”
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You’re not bothering anyone by speaking up or existing. But so many of us default to apologizing for no reason. Try swapping “Sorry for the delay” with “Thanks for your patience.” It’s a small shift, but it changes the energy.
Tone Can Change Everything
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You can say something totally fair and still have it land wrong if your tone’s off. If your voice goes sharp or stiff, people might tune out. Keep it level, warm, and steady—it makes your words easier to receive.
Ask in a Way That Keeps People Open
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Instead of leading with “Why didn’t you…” try “Can you walk me through what happened?” You’re still getting the info you need, but without putting someone on defense.
Being Loud ≠ Being Heard
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You don’t need to be the loudest in the room to have an impact. Speak with intention, not volume. Sometimes, the quietest voice—when it’s confident—is the one people stop to listen to.
Stop Over-Explaining Yourself
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You made a decision. Cool. You don’t have to pile on three reasons to make it sound valid. A simple “This feels like the right direction for me” works. Prioritize clarity over justification every time.
Eye Contact Matters—But Don’t Stare People Down
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Looking someone in the eye when you speak shows you’re present. But keep it natural. If it turns into a staring contest, it gets weird fast. It’s all about connection.
Own What You’re Feeling
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Using “I” statements helps keep conversations real and less confrontational. Saying, “I felt left out in that meeting,” hits differently than “You ignored me.” It’s about being clear without turning it into a fight.
Don’t Panic When Things Get Awkward
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Sometimes, holding your ground feels uncomfortable. That doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. Discomfort is part of growing. Just breathe, stay steady, and let it pass. You’re fine.
End on a Solid Note
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If you’ve made a decision, don’t fizzle out with “I guess that’s it?” Try something more grounded, like “Let’s check in again Friday” or “I’ll move forward with that plan.” Clarity shows confidence. Don’t leave people guessing.